Sated & Tumescent: Tales from the Caves of Qud (#1)

I finally *get* Caves of Qud. Before the release of version 1.0 last month, I put in a good amount of playtime into the various beta versions (maybe 30 hours, I can't remember). I had an enjoyable enough time, but I never could get very far. Friends would always ask me how far I've gotten in the main quest and I'd be like "What quest?". I don't think I ever had a single character survive into double digit levels, but I also refused to play the non-permadeath mode. I wanted to play Qud the "real" way. The game was very difficult but it compelled me. I wanted to figure it out, wanted to really *get* it. Today, I think I did.

I read Laura Michet's blogpost about how to become unkillable and followed the advice within, minus rolling a true kin (I love my mutations). Basically immediately, I made it to level 10. I was finally doing it! I stopped being so afraid of the world map at large and started exploring, mostly trying to find villages to buy more ammo from. I came across one that made me finally realize the true magic of this game.

Arriving in Uilimish surprised me, because I'm not used to snapjaws that don't want to murder me on sight. I talked to someone who pointed me northwest, towards someone who might have some work for me. I found him. And I fell in love.

_{(born on a mountain, raised in a cave, fuckin 'n descratin's all I crave)}

I was beaming when I read this. This village's whole thing is ransacking defenseless villages, taking them over to fuck so much, and dishonoring a specific church. Of course I am going to help you, Mafdusumo!!! I, too, love sex and heresy. This game rules.

Finding Shuppur was pretty easy, although it got a bit dicey when I was ganged up on by a pack of chitinous pumas. I just flew away (I love my mutuations!). Arriving at Shuppur, I found a very calm, defenseless village filled mostly with lizards and one large clam. One of the lizards mentioned how they all worship at the Uutafian Church. Mafdusumo will be most pleased. It was a personal matter to ask about the clam, though.

_{(I could've guessed that... Duh...)}

_{(they call Acozezeclam "John B." the way it always shloops... is that anything?)}

I swear I'd not felt this giddy playing a video game in a very long time. I managed to complete a quest that wasn't one of the ones in Joppa for beginners! The game finally started making sense. It was fun before when I was stumbling around and dying every 5 minutes (the sign of a truly great game imo), but it was so much better now. I could finally see the shape of the systems at play and knew how I could mess around with them. I went back to tell Mafdusumo of the wonderous news.

_{(fearsome AND generous...)}

I earned my pick of the village's various treasures, no doubt ransacked from defenseless villages with nerds who don't even fuck. The magnetized boots seemed the most appealing, until I realized the treasure I sought was greater than boots or anything material... In this crazy, messed up world, the one thing we all need... is a friend.

_:-)

Nicky Flowers - 01/12/25 - (I fell asleep writing this post, that's why it's so late. I lost track of time... That's jsut what happens when I'm with Mafdusumo!!) - (send any comments/questions to hello at nickyflowers dot com)