Can't Break The Streak

I have been having pretty intense Mental Health™️ the past few days. I'm not sure I'm like, technically alive lol. I was absolutely convinced I woke up dead this morning. Hard to describe the feeling exactly. Going to the doctor for my increasing chest pain due to the car crash and having him tell me, yet again, there's nothing he could do did not help my mood whatsoever. I feel completely hollow inside. There's nothing left.

But I gotta blog!!! Posting onto my website here every day has been a nice ritual for me, and has helped shape the days into something that looks like a normal day a human would have. If I didn't have something planned every day, there wouldn't be days anymore to me—it'd just be one endless flow of time. I hate when that happens. It's always when I'm depressed that I'll stop doing my daily routines and that makes the depression worse and so on. But even though I feel like I'm searching for something in a dank & empty warehouse, I am forcing myself to write this post. I wish it was about something more interesting than how much I don't know what to write about but here we are.

I can sit here and bemoan how shitty I feel or I can just power through the shit and try to make something out of it. I will probably do both tbh, it feels great to bemoan. Huge fan of bemoaning, personally.

Nicky Flowers - 02/11/25 - I'll try and come up with a better post tomorrow! :-) - (send any comments/questions to hello at nickyflowers dot com)