Private Journaling In Public

If I had a dollar for every time I started a journal with the intent to write in it daily but gave up on it within a couple months, I wouldn't know how many times that's happened (on account of I don't write anything down). Now with my concussion, my notoriously bad memory has been even worse and it's a bit distressing! Sometimes it feels like life is happening at me too fast for me to hold onto any of it. I've been trying to think what I should do about this. Unfortunately, the conclusion that I've come to is that I need to marry my urge to broadcast my thoughts online to my need to document my life in order to make this happen. The blog is my diary now.

I'm gonna blog Regular Style still as well! But now you're gonne get posts every day and some of them are gonna be more personal. They might be very small "I slept for 9 hours and then lied there for 5" updates on bad days, might be stream of conciousness rambles to get myself out of a sticky thought pattern. As long as I get something written every day, I'm considering that a win. It's so hard for me to commit to anything and be consistent with it when I do commit, so I need to train myself to be less of a damn flake. Just doing the shit every day, no matter how bad or lazy you're doing it, is the only way to get better at anything.

For example, I'm also trying to learn how to play guitar. Yet another thing I've tried on and off for years with no success because my mind wanders and moves onto the other 50 things I'm always up to. But for now, the only goal I have is to play every day. Play what? Nothing in particular right now. Just making noises, getting my fingers used to it, trying to memorize parts of the fretboard. 15 minutes a day at least, that's all.

It's annoying to do something you're not good at a tiny bit once a day. It's slow work and I'm pretty sure I have ADHD so it's extra annoying. But the time I've spent sitting around doing nothing wishing I was instead doing anything at all could've been spent playing guitar for 15 minutes a day and writing in a journal. By now, I'd have Buckethead level shredding skills and an extensive written history of my journey becoming a guitar god.

But no, I spent all that time sitting around. Not anymore!

Nicky Flowers - 11/12/24 - (send any comments/questions to hello at nickyflowers dot com)