You GOTTA Chill Out

Going on a bit more from yesterday's topic, the antidepressants are finally clearing up some of my brain fog. It was prescribed to me, after all, for the car crash concussion. So today I operated with a level of clarity I haven't had in a long time. While walking in the pouring rain to the post office (I love walking around in the rain + no mail I was shipping was harmed), I realized I had nothing to write about for the blog today.

I started to worry if maybe I'd been pushing myself too hard and if maybe I was tipping myself over into the much dreaded and posted-about ~burnout~. But then I was like, "Oh, right. It's not an issue. Whatever."

And that was it! That was the end of worrying about it. I mailed a ton of copies of my paper (15 subscribers!! Thank you!!!), got a snack at 7/11, and had an enjoyable walk as the rain cleared. The clouds briefly parted before the rest of the day's rain started falling again once I got back home. Incredible stuff. I know that all doesn't seem like much, but this level of cope (positive connotation) is unprecedented for me. I also decided on the way home I'd just write about this. Problem solved! I'm fucking crushing it.

The other thing that became very clear to me was that I still do need to pump the brakes a bit. My burnout meter doesn't drain as quickly as it used to, so I'm adjusting to the newer & higher levels of being functional—but I can tell I'm running on fumes, creatively speaking and also I'm very very tired. So I gotta fill myself back up with art and games and socializing to replace what's been depleted.

This reminds me of a piece I cut from the latest issue of my paper:

Nicky Flowers - i ORDER you to chill out till it works. TILL IT WORKS! 11/20/24 - (send any comments/questions to hello at nickyflowers dot com)