Why Do I Keep Buying Scratch-Offs?

About once a year or so, I will find myself in my regular corner store of choice buying my treats when I immediately act upon the sudden impulse to buy a scratch-off lottery ticket. I am not a gambler—I'm an impulsive person with an addictive personality, sure, but I'm also extremely averse to throwing away money in ways I think are stupid. Small blessings. But for whatever reason, despite knowing I'd have more fun taking the 5 dollars and lighting it on fire, I will be struck with the urge to buy a scratcher and go along with that urge without too much thought. That's where I found myself today, except I had pointed to the wrong scratcher and bought a 20 dollar one instead of my usual 5'er. I noticed the mistake after I'd walked halfway home and felt too silly to go back and ask for a refund.

If there's anything I hate more than wasting 5 dollars, it's wasting 20 dollars. And if there's anything I hate even more than that, it's mild social discomfort. I went home with my stupid 20 dollar ticket, hoping I could at least break even.

And that's where they get you!! The lottery people want me to get hooked on the drive to win back what I spent and if I win a bigger amount, they want me to get hooked on *that* feeling even harder. It's insidious. And it keeps tricking me! Why do I think this will ever be fun? I never win any money, and when I do win the free ticket prize, that just makes me more miserable. And if I did win any cash, I don't even care about money so what am I doing here! I thought it'd be like cigarettes and I would immediately lose interest in them once I quit drinking lol. When I was drunk, cigarettes and scratch-offs made way more sense. Now it's just some strange leftover impulse from my old self. I don't even want to scratch it anymore.

...But it *would* be nice if I least broke even. Let's scratch together.

...

Okay, I've uncovered my letters. The "game" is some crossword thing so you have a pile of letters you need to match. It's not really worth explaining the game any further than this because it's not really a game, is it? I have one action available to me (scratching) and this action does not affect the outcome of the game in any way. The prize was won or lost the moment I bought the ticket—I could go back to the store with it completely unscratched and just have them scan the barcode to see if it's a winner. And to me, a game needs to be in service of play in order to be a true game, not in service of winning money. Play is for playing's sake. Whatever. I'll see if I got any matches.

...

Huh! I'll be damned. I won $25. I'm up 5 bucks.

Forget all that shit I said earlier, gambling RULES! I'm gonna buy one of these every day FOREVER and get RICH!!!

Nicky Flowers - 12/08/24 - Jokes aside, this is my last ever scratcher. I'm going out on top. #1 Gambling Champion of All-Time - (send any comments/questions to hello at nickyflowers dot com)